Seth just stands there for a minute or two, staring at his feet, trying not to think about where he is, trying not to think the worst, trying to keep his heart rate at an acceptable level, trying to ignore how he feels clammy and sweaty and teary.
And then someone enters the corridor and Seth looks up, and his heart makes a desperate leap for his throat.
"Daniel," he says hoarsely, stepping back a little, as Daniel walks closer and -- is not looking at Seth. Not even acknowledging him at all. Oh, God. Fuck. He really is angry with him, isn't he? So much he's actively ignoring Seth.
"Daniel, I'm so--" And then he slams the door in Seth's face, which feels a little to Seth as if he's just been stabbed in the gut, and his throat closes up, and he feels like shit, he just feels like utter shit.
He leans back against the opposite wall, drawing in a shaky breath, swallowing hard. How the hell did he even manage this? How on earth did he actually manage to piss off someone who has up until this point given the impression of being one of the most forgiving, patient, supporting, sincere people Seth has ever met? Is he really that fucked up, that he managed to do so without even meaning to?
Perhaps Daniel is just fed up. He wasn't going to just leave, he said, he wasn't going to just pretend Seth didn't need his help with all this shit. Perhaps he had meant it at the time, but how can you make promises like that? It had just been a dream that Daniel had seen Seth this fucked up in. He probably assumed it was an exaggeration - and it had been, sure. A little bit. Most of the time, Seth copes, he deals, he functions. But then sometimes, often unexpectedly, his problems rear their ugly head, and Seth does stupid shit, like shout at someone who's become one of his closest friends in a matter of weeks, someone he--
And then the door opens again, and Daniel is stepping out. Seth straightens nervously, and suddenly the phrase 'kept on tenterhooks' has a much more visceral and deeper meaning for him. And then... Daniel starts walking away.
"Daniel," he starts again, following him, hesitantly at first and then having to speed up.
"Daniel, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm sorry I'm such a mess," he says, despite not getting any sort of acknowledgement at all, trailing anxiously after him. "I just -- Please don't be mad, I... Will you just please talk to me?"
The last part comes out more than a little desperate, and he comes to a stop, not managing to follow any longer, but Daniel doesn't even slow down. Doesn't even glance back. Just. Walks ahead. Like Seth is air. Not even that, because you need air, don't you? Seth's not even that, he's just nothing.
And then Daniel is gone.
Seth punches the wall.
Ow. He hasn't done that in a long, long time. It's not even slightly as cathartic as he might've hoped, but impulse control seems to be dangerously low right now. But his hand doesn't hurt anywhere near as badly as his chest hurts at the moment.
Feeling defeated and hopeless and worthless, he leans against the wall and just sinks to floor, his breath hitching, and he doesn't even have the capacity to get out of this fucking terrible building. If they find him and lock him up again, perhaps it will just be for the best.
cw: so much self-loathing?
And then someone enters the corridor and Seth looks up, and his heart makes a desperate leap for his throat.
"Daniel," he says hoarsely, stepping back a little, as Daniel walks closer and -- is not looking at Seth. Not even acknowledging him at all. Oh, God. Fuck. He really is angry with him, isn't he? So much he's actively ignoring Seth.
"Daniel, I'm so--" And then he slams the door in Seth's face, which feels a little to Seth as if he's just been stabbed in the gut, and his throat closes up, and he feels like shit, he just feels like utter shit.
He leans back against the opposite wall, drawing in a shaky breath, swallowing hard. How the hell did he even manage this? How on earth did he actually manage to piss off someone who has up until this point given the impression of being one of the most forgiving, patient, supporting, sincere people Seth has ever met? Is he really that fucked up, that he managed to do so without even meaning to?
Perhaps Daniel is just fed up. He wasn't going to just leave, he said, he wasn't going to just pretend Seth didn't need his help with all this shit. Perhaps he had meant it at the time, but how can you make promises like that? It had just been a dream that Daniel had seen Seth this fucked up in. He probably assumed it was an exaggeration - and it had been, sure. A little bit. Most of the time, Seth copes, he deals, he functions. But then sometimes, often unexpectedly, his problems rear their ugly head, and Seth does stupid shit, like shout at someone who's become one of his closest friends in a matter of weeks, someone he--
And then the door opens again, and Daniel is stepping out. Seth straightens nervously, and suddenly the phrase 'kept on tenterhooks' has a much more visceral and deeper meaning for him. And then... Daniel starts walking away.
"Daniel," he starts again, following him, hesitantly at first and then having to speed up.
"Daniel, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm sorry I'm such a mess," he says, despite not getting any sort of acknowledgement at all, trailing anxiously after him. "I just -- Please don't be mad, I... Will you just please talk to me?"
The last part comes out more than a little desperate, and he comes to a stop, not managing to follow any longer, but Daniel doesn't even slow down. Doesn't even glance back. Just. Walks ahead. Like Seth is air. Not even that, because you need air, don't you? Seth's not even that, he's just nothing.
And then Daniel is gone.
Seth punches the wall.
Ow. He hasn't done that in a long, long time. It's not even slightly as cathartic as he might've hoped, but impulse control seems to be dangerously low right now. But his hand doesn't hurt anywhere near as badly as his chest hurts at the moment.
Feeling defeated and hopeless and worthless, he leans against the wall and just sinks to floor, his breath hitching, and he doesn't even have the capacity to get out of this fucking terrible building. If they find him and lock him up again, perhaps it will just be for the best.