The intermittent blurring and reshaping of his vision is the only warning before the true boiling panic settles in, and Rush experiences a vertiginous instant of abject horror in knowing exactly what is about to happen precisely before it does.
No. No. No, fuck, please, no.
He can't have his physiology fucked about like this. This should not happen. He should not be able to allow it to happen, not with the infrequent nightmares of him reliving the very same, the intrinsic, painful violation that was the shifting of his thoughts and breaking of his emotional output to suit another's needs. He is attempting to torque this into something else, frantically restructure his thoughts into something less panicked, something less susceptible, something less obvious but it will not work and he knows it even as everything is torn from him.
Durant releases him in a swift movement that sends Rush impacting the ground in a protracted slide, vision fogging unbearably, lungs writhing and him gasping, trembling bonelessly on an empty floor. The weight of fatigue burrowing down his spine has made it impossible to move; it is no longer the dulled product of the Manhattan heat and humidity but a profound, crippling exhaustion of an unnatural source that fills him with a swelling, unshakeable disgust.
tw: panic, flashbacking
No. No. No, fuck, please, no.
He can't have his physiology fucked about like this. This should not happen. He should not be able to allow it to happen, not with the infrequent nightmares of him reliving the very same, the intrinsic, painful violation that was the shifting of his thoughts and breaking of his emotional output to suit another's needs. He is attempting to torque this into something else, frantically restructure his thoughts into something less panicked, something less susceptible, something less obvious but it will not work and he knows it even as everything is torn from him.
Durant releases him in a swift movement that sends Rush impacting the ground in a protracted slide, vision fogging unbearably, lungs writhing and him gasping, trembling bonelessly on an empty floor. The weight of fatigue burrowing down his spine has made it impossible to move; it is no longer the dulled product of the Manhattan heat and humidity but a profound, crippling exhaustion of an unnatural source that fills him with a swelling, unshakeable disgust.