It's fucked that that's the first panicked thing he thinks. It's not fair. He already watched this happen once, watched Jay fold down into a terrified tremble until that thing snapped him up in a flare of static. He's seen it printed behind every blink and replayed in every staggered nightmare, hands itching to stop a thing utterly beyond his power to stop.
He has to watch it again. Helpless to stop it. Again.
"Don't," he says, and he hates the pleading note that creeps into his tone, as if Jay has any control over the clearly incredible amount of pain he's in, but it spills out in a tumbled rush. Why is the he the only one that's still here. "I don't wanna be by myself again."
That's all it is, isn't it? Just that selfish desire to not be the only one again.
no subject
It's fucked that that's the first panicked thing he thinks. It's not fair. He already watched this happen once, watched Jay fold down into a terrified tremble until that thing snapped him up in a flare of static. He's seen it printed behind every blink and replayed in every staggered nightmare, hands itching to stop a thing utterly beyond his power to stop.
He has to watch it again. Helpless to stop it. Again.
"Don't," he says, and he hates the pleading note that creeps into his tone, as if Jay has any control over the clearly incredible amount of pain he's in, but it spills out in a tumbled rush. Why is the he the only one that's still here. "I don't wanna be by myself again."
That's all it is, isn't it? Just that selfish desire to not be the only one again.