Nicholas Rush (
lottawork) wrote in
bigapplesauce2015-08-28 07:16 pm
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things have gotten closer to the sun [closed]
He has it.
It had come together unprompted, without the click and slide of a solution slotting easily into place. There is never a click, a common misconception even in the highest echelons of academia - there is never a well-timed stroke of brilliance turned over by some new fragment of insight, simply the give of a problem folding beneath the fierce, continuous, brute force pressure of the uncontained mind. For weeks he has considered it, has become an expert in fields utterly beyond the scope of his specialties or his prolonged interest, and even with the minor distraction of Jackson's spontaneous return to the flesh, he has done little else but attack the set of circumstances without compromise.
The dog is asleep when he exits the building, and he locks his door upon departure, his movements streamlined by the fervent intent of intellectual energy, the strap of his bag taut over his chest as he commits himself to the grueling inadequacies of public transportation.
He knocks immediately upon building entry. He expects Asadi will be waiting for him.
It had come together unprompted, without the click and slide of a solution slotting easily into place. There is never a click, a common misconception even in the highest echelons of academia - there is never a well-timed stroke of brilliance turned over by some new fragment of insight, simply the give of a problem folding beneath the fierce, continuous, brute force pressure of the uncontained mind. For weeks he has considered it, has become an expert in fields utterly beyond the scope of his specialties or his prolonged interest, and even with the minor distraction of Jackson's spontaneous return to the flesh, he has done little else but attack the set of circumstances without compromise.
The dog is asleep when he exits the building, and he locks his door upon departure, his movements streamlined by the fervent intent of intellectual energy, the strap of his bag taut over his chest as he commits himself to the grueling inadequacies of public transportation.
He knocks immediately upon building entry. He expects Asadi will be waiting for him.
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"For such a sneaky shit that was pretty fuckin' obvious," she says, grabbing them a couple glasses and pouring a little in each. She hands his off to him. "But I'll let it slide. You know I love opening things. Bottles. Locked doors. Cans of worms."
She slides onto her couch and gives the space beside her a little pat. "Come on, let's see what 'Die Hard' has to offer us."
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He complies with a resigned sigh, dropping onto Asadi's couch, glass still in hand, worrying the rim with a persistent thumbnail as he watches Americans talk about planes and post-flight relaxation procedures.
The headache that has taken residence behind his eyes exponentiates by insufferable increments. He shuts his eyes against the screen's vibrant, pixelated glare, which succeeds in taking the edge from the bright supraorbital pressure.
Uninterested in contemplating the merits of Die Hard or its, apparently, law-upholding protagonist, he considers the secondary objective. That will certainly require more time, significantly more knowledge on the sort of implements Asadi stored within her arm, the specific properties of each ability she has since demonstrated, and he must debate the benefits of replicating the interior or creating his own system autoschediastically, a possibility with which he doubts she will be highly enthused for a number of reasons, all of which break apart upon contact with his mind as it progresses toward the thing it is progressing toward, his head sunk to one shoulder, his breath quiet and even, his musculature slack and still.
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For a moment she's not sure what to do, if she should rouse him or just let him be - pause the movie or let it carry on - go to bed or stay here. She decides to go with option B in all three cases, though she does turn the movie down a bit, after after a moment she tugs loose the same blanket she and Greta had sat wrapped up in not too long ago to drape it gently over him.
She settles back and watches the movie, which improves exponentially as it gets more and more into its comfort zone of action and suspense. It's enjoyable, but she's only half-concentrating on it, her attention mostly on the small miracle of her mood, finally coming down from almost manic elation to settle into simple contentment. It's not just that her arm partially works again, it's that Rush is here. He'd probably rather be at home trying to be productive, falling asleep on his floor, but he stayed here, and he allowed himself to drift off in her company.
She pulls her legs up and wraps both arms around them, smiling as she rests her chin on her knees.
It doesn't take long for her to drift off as well, the movie continuing unobserved.
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His hands fist into the fabric covering him as he attempts to realign his mental pathways, resolute despite the sensation of being irreversibly mired in choppy, viscous postsleep neural sludge.
His eyes snap open in parallel to the pressing of hands against the first lateral surface, which is the seat of a couch and he does not own a couch nor does he sleep on couches as he has long since made this a necessary criterion for his state of being.
He twists himself upright, apparently overestimates his body's sense of balance and weight in relation to gravity, and ends up on the floor.
He employs the couch as leverage to drag himself back into what can be possibly construed as a sitting position and tries not to feel asthenic.
The tone of the screen and its insistent murmur of static has grown intolerable and so he lurches fully to his feet and begins cutting an unerring line for the door as he requires coffee absolutely fucking requires it and he will require it immediately and then he will need to get the fuck away from this couch he does not own a couch.
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"Hey," she chides gently. "Where do you think you're goin, without so much as a g'morning?" She rolls off the couch and pads over to the kitchenette. "Settle down, I'll make you coffee for the road."
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He makes it to the door and leans against it with a press of forehead to wood as he attempts to condense his perception and his irritation and his fatigue into something marginally workable. There are a number of things he can ascertain. One - recently, to his superb exasperation and despite his endurance and continued resistance to any such outcome, he fell asleep. Two - he fell asleep on a couch. Three - Asadi is present. Four -
He savagely aborts any further enumeration when his mind brings all the relevant pieces together under a single permutation: he is not in his apartment. He is in Asadi's apartment, and it is, clearly, early enough in the morning for him to be sufficiently disoriented.
Rush sighs and opens his eyes. The vertical streaks of wood grain inches from his nose are incapable of holding his interest, and he turns away.
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She turns away, lets him fend for himself, getting a thermos out of the cabinet for Rush's journey home. It's so easy, just falling back into step, using both hands again - but it feels new, too. She smiles to herself, flexing her fingers slowly. She can't open them up, can't activate the little internal mechanisms, but they're all in place, fitted delicately back in, dormant for now. They'll figure it out. As they promised each other.
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Rush sighs with both hands braced against either side of the sink, and breathes.
He dashes the back of a wrist over his face, swiping away the sleep sticking to his eyelids, and exits.
"Of course," he says dryly. "I should have assumed. Planning on telling her anytime soon?" He delivers the question smoothly, seamlessly injecting it into the conversation with a vagueness he's certain she'll find less than amusing.
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Oh wait. She lifts her head, rolling her shoulders back slightly as his intended meaning reaches her.
"...Right," she says. "I don't see why it matters so much to you."
She pours the coffee into the thermos and shuts it tightly.
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He retrieves his bag with the fluid catch and pull of a hand, its load considerably lighter than it was the night prior.
"My advice?" Rush looks at her coolly. "Don't prolong it. That benefits none of the parties involved."
apparently it was time for heavy introspection, do u regret asking yet rush
"Thank you," she says, managing to sound only a little droll. "I'm sure it will be handled when the time is right."
She picks up her wallet, keys, and phone, adjusts her hijab a bit, and heads out with him.
On their way to the subway station she eventually resumes the conversation, speaking slow and thoughtfully: "No one is strictly benefiting from this, no. But you have to consider what this would mean to Greta. She wants to go home, and we've promised to find a way. She has a husband there, a son. She doesn't expect them to wait for her long - life expectancy in that world isn't what it is to us. I don't want to make myself an obstacle. I don't want to confuse her. If she became involved with anyone here, it would be - a distraction. Temporary at best. An unwanted intrusion at worst."
She sighs heavily. It's hard to think along these lines, but it's important, too, to say it out loud. Reinforce it for herself. As close as she's come recently to spilling this truth, it merits revisiting.
"That's not even getting into the other thing," she says. She waits to continue until they've navigated the morning commuters, have slid through the turnstiles, and are waiting on the platform. "She didn't know people like us existed until she got here. Sexual and gender fluidity, that's - there's so much that's all foreign to her. She's adapting, of course, but it's one thing to know it exists and another to confront it in yourself, after a lifetime of knowing and living a solitary option." She shakes her head, pulling her arms around herself - enjoying the fact that she can. "There's no way I can think for me to tell her how I feel without it being a predominantly selfish act."
The train arrives, loud and grating, and she steps on. A woman moves conspicuously to avoid standing near her; a man gives her a lingering dirty look. She ignores them. This is easy. They do not matter.
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The subject is not one he is eager to debate at any length - he simply finds it incredibly fucking grating that both women seem, apparently, reluctant to define their relationship. Seeming lack of social understanding demonstrates an absence of interest, not necessarily the absence of any particular skill. He -
He does not want to think of her, and even less does he want to think of Mandy.
He torques his mind from the subject mercilessly.
"Talk to her about it," he says, managing to sound exasperated rather than anyone intent on distributing romantic advice in good faith. "Regardless of outcome, the both of you can only benefit from that option."
The train hisses to a stop with the straining screech of steel on steel and he boards, studiously avoiding eye contact with the faceless, nameless, innocuous flood of pedestrians as they pass from arrival to destination in a featureless, streamlined spill.
The heavy mechanical sound of the train pulling out heralds the powerful jolt that nearly upsets his center of gravity. He scowls.
public harassment and racism, bc apparently this thread was too delightful
Maybe he'll accept that.
She keeps silent for the ride, steadfastly staring ahead to avoid the glances of strangers who have, apparently, never seen a hijabi before.
There is one man, however, who becomes increasingly difficult to ignore, his stare is so brazenly unbroken. After several stops and no departure on his part, she sighs and looks back at him, meeting his eyes calmly.
"Have you been helped, sweetie?" she says with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.
Her open condescension does the trick. The man straightens up in unconcerned offense, his stare now less accusing and more disgusted.
He answers her in a low grunt, only partially audible under the metallic shriek of the train; she rolls her eyes before he's even done, it's just the usual shit, terrorists and murderers, yes, yes. Oh, nice, a slur, how original. She laughs derisively and shakes her head. Joke's on you, buddy, no one's killing her good mood. Not today.
Her lack of reaction, as it often does, only garners more scorn; the man snaps, "Take that thing off in here. This is America."
She looks, this time, at Rush, who she'd previosuly been avoiding; the only thing worse than being spoken to like this is having it done in front of friends. But that opening was too good.
"Oh my god," she says, giving him a theatrically accusing stare. "We're in AMERICA? How drunk did we GET last night?"
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Rush arches a brow with an atypical theatrical flare, unimpressed.
He looks at the man in question with as much scathing self-possession as he can bring to bear, the full, intolerable force of his unmitigated scorn from which the offender cannot help but look away.
"Unfortunately, I don't believe a response monosyllabic enough exists in his case." He smiles, icy and flinted. "He needn't have acquainted himself with an entire new vocabulary on our account."
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They exit the train finally, allowing her to breathe a little easier, easier still as they return above ground and approach Rush and Greta's building.
"You wanna drop in and say hi?" she asks nonchalantly as he opens the front door.
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The implication that he would in any capacity prefer the option of being able to 'say hi' is absurd, and Rush snorts. "And do what, exactly."
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That isn't an immediately useful thought. He dismisses it.
He looks at the ceiling in quiet vexation and says nothing, even as the doors slide noiselessly open and they enter the hall.
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She lets her left arm hang limply at her side, the weight of it unbearable even after so little a reprieve, but it's worth it for a little good-natured theatrics. She gives him a meaningful look and then lifts her hand to rap lightly on the door. "Special delivery," she announces.
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A quick peek out the peephole reveals that yes, it was - and that Rush is here, too. It's not like Iman to show up unannounced. It's not like Rush to show up at all. Greta opens her mouth, shuts it, and then opens the door instead.
"... Hello," she says, looking between them with a faint, bewildered smile. "Is everything all right?"
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She feels like a little kid, playing tricks like this, grinning so broadly her cheeks hurt; without waiting for a go-ahead she steps forward and wraps her right arm around Greta, pulling her into a warm embrace. After just a moment she lifts her other arm, wrapping that around her as well. "That's better," she says gleefully.
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"Are you quite done?" he says airily, doing a fucking excellent job at masking his relief in having been stranded in the hallway and not having been inducted into their affectionate conglomerate.
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Then Iman wraps her other arm around her.
For a beat, all she registers is that the hug just got nicer. Then it hits her, and she lets out an entirely undignified squawk of delight. "Your arm!" It's warm, and it's working, and Greta tightens her hold for a few moments before taking Iman by the shoulders so she can pull back and look at the prosthetic. "It's all fixed?" Without bothering to worry about propriety, she takes Iman's left arm in her hands. It feels alive again, and she runs her palms down Iman's forearm to her hand, pressing it gently between her own. "You can feel with it and everything?"
Rush's droll aside earns him a look that is far too pleased to reach exasperation. "What are you still doing out there?" He helped; surely he ought to be part of the impromptu celebration.
And speaking of. Greta grins back down at Iman, feeling so happy she could burst, and pulls her into another hug. It's not even about what this might mean for her; she knows how much this means to Iman. She hasn't really been herself since she lost the arm; now that it's back, everything will be better.
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She peeks over at Rush and grins at him. See? This was worth the little visit, right?
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"There's still progress to be made," he says as he sets the thermos down on the table with a soft click. "But we've managed to isolate and complete the primary objective."
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