has_a_horn (
has_a_horn) wrote in
bigapplesauce2016-02-07 10:52 pm
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oh honey honey [closed]
Scout scrambles into the apartment when Gabriel opens the door, and heads straight for the water dish on the floor. Gabriel makes sure that the dish is filled as he walks past towards the living room. Maybe to read, maybe to watch some TV, but something on the kitchen table makes him stop in his tracks.
It's a jar of honey, simple and unadorned. The light from the window catches the edge of the glass, casting a yellow light onto the table. It's beautiful. He stares at it for a moment, transfixed. Then, he smiles, because he knows just what this is. Back when he'd been struck ill by the rift, he'd told Johnny about how when he'd been Loki, people would leave him offerings of honey.
Back then, it had been comforting. A nice gesture, and a meaningful connection to the humans that knew about him and wanted to please him or thank him. Now, it's a reminder about the good parts of what he used to be. It's easy to forget all but the bad, but this reminds him that he was appreciated then, and even moreso- that Johnny loves him now. Johnny had been joking when he asked if he wanted him to start leaving jars of honey around, but he really did want that. And Johnny remembered. Johnny may not know how much it means to him, or why, but he doesn't really need to. The gesture is enough, and that means a lot to him too.
He steps forward and picks up the jar, carefully turning it over in his hands. He doesn't know what to do with the feeling that this is giving him. How could he have ever thought that he couldn't fully love Johnny? His chest is full of it, his fingers tingling with the sheer force of the feeling. He can't stop grinning at the damn jar of honey, and by now, Scout has finished with the water and come over to investigate.
Gabriel bends down to scrub a hand through the dog's fur. "I'll be back. I have to go see Johnny." He straightens, and in the next moment he's standing in Johnny's apartment, the jar of honey still in his hand.
"...hey." He's not sure what he wants to say or do beyond kissing Johnny, but he's pretty sure that his plans don't involve Johnny being in the middle of tattooing some hot shirtless dude. He pauses for just a moment before he strides forward anyway. When Johnny turns to him, he leans down just far enough to lift his chin up and press a kiss to his mouth.
It's a jar of honey, simple and unadorned. The light from the window catches the edge of the glass, casting a yellow light onto the table. It's beautiful. He stares at it for a moment, transfixed. Then, he smiles, because he knows just what this is. Back when he'd been struck ill by the rift, he'd told Johnny about how when he'd been Loki, people would leave him offerings of honey.
Back then, it had been comforting. A nice gesture, and a meaningful connection to the humans that knew about him and wanted to please him or thank him. Now, it's a reminder about the good parts of what he used to be. It's easy to forget all but the bad, but this reminds him that he was appreciated then, and even moreso- that Johnny loves him now. Johnny had been joking when he asked if he wanted him to start leaving jars of honey around, but he really did want that. And Johnny remembered. Johnny may not know how much it means to him, or why, but he doesn't really need to. The gesture is enough, and that means a lot to him too.
He steps forward and picks up the jar, carefully turning it over in his hands. He doesn't know what to do with the feeling that this is giving him. How could he have ever thought that he couldn't fully love Johnny? His chest is full of it, his fingers tingling with the sheer force of the feeling. He can't stop grinning at the damn jar of honey, and by now, Scout has finished with the water and come over to investigate.
Gabriel bends down to scrub a hand through the dog's fur. "I'll be back. I have to go see Johnny." He straightens, and in the next moment he's standing in Johnny's apartment, the jar of honey still in his hand.
"...hey." He's not sure what he wants to say or do beyond kissing Johnny, but he's pretty sure that his plans don't involve Johnny being in the middle of tattooing some hot shirtless dude. He pauses for just a moment before he strides forward anyway. When Johnny turns to him, he leans down just far enough to lift his chin up and press a kiss to his mouth.
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Whenever he'd tried dating before he'd never really gotten the hang of giving gifts or doing nice things for the girls. Nice things were never his strong suit, and the girls he dated weren't interested in 'nice' anyway. He never made it far enough to do anything this intimate - never had the opportunity or impetus to give something so deeply, personally significant. This is, as all things with Gabriel have been, utterly uncharted territory. But he's never been alone in it, there's always been Gabe leading him along. To experience the movie-perfect gratification of getting so much for doing something thoughtful - he can't see this getting old, not when the entirety of this relationship is still so novel to him.
He presses closer, ducking his head down again, feeling sheepish and overwhelmed.
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"Would you-" He pauses, uncertain how to continue, and then inwardly cringes at himself because he knows he's just revealed that he's nervous about asking this. "Would you like to brush my wings? Would you be into that?"
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"Seriously?" There's no incredulity, just astonishment and awe. He didn't realize this was something Gabe would even need - and, well, perhaps he doesn't, perhaps he just wants it, he's always liked it when Johnny strokes his feathers, after all. He certainly didn't expect he'd be asked to really give him this kind of intimate care.
"I - yeah." He sits up, trying not to look too eager, failing somewhat. "I don't know if I'll be any good at it, but..." He trails off, blushing. They're still naked and they just had amazing sex over a jar of honey, but this, this makes him blush.
He knows why. He knows this is personal, important, not just anyone would get to do this. The wings are a private, special part of Gabriel, and he's entrusting their care to Johnny. It's overwhelming. Of course he's fucking blushing.
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He reaches out a hand to Johnny's shoulder and rubs his thumb at his collarbone. Briefly, he lets his gaze drop to the spot and then Johnny's chest before he looks back up to his blushing face. Johnny's reaction has more than reassured him that he doesn't need to worry about asking for this sort of thing, so he's settling back into a pleasant post-coital calm. "Now? We could go out front." He nods towards the living room. "You wouldn't have to move any walls."
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"Okay." He shifts back and slides off the bed, still a little shaky-legged, and tugs on his boxers. "Now's good."
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He pulls on some socks and PJ pants himself, but forgoes a shirt. It'll probably be more comfortable for him to go without.
When Johnny has changed, Gabriel materializes a brush. It's something like you might expect used to groom horses, a flat wooden back and uniform bristles coating the reverse side. It's also the perfect size for Johnny to grip. He looks down at it a moment, feeling suddenly vulnerable. This isn't a big deal but at the same time it is, because it's an illustration for him of how much he's come to trust Johnny over such a short amount of time.
"Here. I'm gonna go get set up." He hands over the brush, leans in to kiss Johnny's cheek, then turns and walks into the other room. He snags a chair from the kitchen table and settles it in the center of the space.
Once he's sitting something stops him from materializing his wings just yet. Maybe, he thinks, he wants Johnny to ask, or for Johnny to be prepared before they start with this.
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He trails after Gabe slowly, watches him get settled, waits for the wings to appear, but they don't. He steps closer, reaches out and rests a hand on Gabriel's back, rubbing gently over one shoulder blade.
"Ready?" he says.
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Scout immediately jumps down from the couch to investigate one wing, and Gabriel chuckles as the little dog buries his nose in among feathers. Scout walks the length of the wing, then pushes through to come and inspect what Johnny is up to.
"With the grain usually works the best. Like petting a cat."
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Each time he sees Gabriel's wings it's like he's forgotten the last time - how immense they are, how breathtaking. He always feels smaller and meeker in their presence, but he doesn't want to act different. It's really important that he doesn't, in fact. This is a piece of Gabe, special and private, but still a natural part of him. He feels an almost uncomfortable swell of emotion in his chest, thinking about how he's being allowed not only to see, to touch, but now to care for - he shivers slightly, just once, before stepping forward with resolve and raising the brush.
He errs on the side of caution, moving the brush with slow, perhaps overly gentle strokes, just to test. He keeps an eye on Gabriel, looking for reactions, guidance, keeping quiet for now.
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This is something that hasn't happened for him in a long time. It's so rare that he trust someone enough to even show them his wings. This level of care isn't necessary, but it means a lot for this to be happening now, with Johnny. It's a way for him to show his love and his trust in a demonstrative way. At times it becomes very clear that Johnny has trouble believing that he really is loved, or that he's worthy of it. Gabriel is hoping that this helps in some way to prevent those sorts of thoughts.
"Yeah, that's- that's good." He can't turn around to see the look on Johnny's face without knocking over furniture, so he asks, "You okay with this?"
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"I like doing this for you," he says eventually, feeling it was worth more of an answer than a monosyllabic one. He smiles to himself. "I like being able to do things for you."
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He doesn't say much more as Johnny works his way across his wing. It's a very comforting sensation, almost meditative, to hear his own soft sighs, the brush at regular intervals pushing down across his feathers, and Scout's little pants as he follows what Johnny is doing. He doesn't feel the need to fill the silence.
A little ways in, Johnny gets the brush under a feather and a shiver runs up Gabriel's spine. It extends out into his wings automatically, feathers lifting all over until he looks more fluffy than sleek. Gabriel chuckles, knowing that the reaction has probably surprised Johnny. "You're doing fine. Great, even."
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"Oh my god," he blurts, chuckling as he resumes brushing slowly. "That was fucking adorable."
He watches the feathers settle back down, then - he can't help himself - nudges a finger gently beneath them, trying to see if he can recreate the reflex.
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His feathers lift up again obligingly when Johnny prompts them. "Glad you're having fun," he says, teasing Johnny, but he means it too. He thinks it's nice for Johnny to be so interested in his wings, because they're the only part of the real him that he'll ever be able to show him.
His feathers settle back down after a few moments, and then he puffs them up again, on purpose this time. "It's not just a reflex."
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"Oh my god," he says when Gabe does it on command. "Yes, you are definitely the most majestic birdman I have ever dated." He glances at the wing to try and create a mental marker for where he was in the brushing process, then wanders back over to Gabe himself and hugs him from behind.
"I am having fun." He kisses Gabe on the cheek. "And you know, like, even after months living here, with you, that's still, like... kind of a big deal for me. So thank you."
Ugh. His stomach twists a little. Too much. He clings on anyway, because it's true and there is no one to impress, Johnny, there's just you allowing yourself to be honest.
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"I'm glad you're having fun." In this moment he feels calm and content. Happy.
"And I resent the implication that I'm not fun all the time." He chuckles. He knows that there have been tough times in this relationship for both of them, but right now that doesn't matter. "Want to go bowling again sometime? Or that pool table? I wanna make a hundred percent more inappropriate comments about sticks and balls."
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He takes the brush and drifts back down the length of Gabe's wing, resuming the grooming process. "Some other night," he says. "I want you all to myself today."
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Johnny brushes the back of both wings, and by the time he's come around to the front, Gabriel is so relaxed he feels like he could fall asleep. His shoulders are rounded and his eyes closed, focusing on Johnny's soft repetitive motions.
He doesn't notice at all when the brush dislodges a meter long feather from his wing.
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That's all before a feather that comes up past his hip comes loose and falls to the floor.
He freezes up, staring at it, then chancing a look at Gabe, who doesn't even seem to have noticed.
"Uh," he blurts. It's weird to break the silence. "I - Sorry, is this..." He stares at the feather, afraid to touch it. Birds lose feathers all the time, just like humans lose hairs, but this one is so huge, it's hard to imagine it being okay. "Is this normal?"
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"If it wasn't normal I would have felt it getting plucked out. I was surprised you didn't get any of the little ones around my shoulders. Those're more likely to fall out." He smiles. "It'll grow back. Probably be itchy as fuck for a day or two, one that big."
Scout comes around and noses curiously at the feather, flipping it over with his nose before giving it an experimental lick. Gabe watches this for a moment before looking back at Johnny. "Do you wanna keep it?"
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"I-" Yes. "Are you-" Yes. He swallows, not sure why he feels so nervous about this. Nervous isn't quite the right word anyway. It's a reminder that Gabe isn't human, which is important and difficult at the same time, and it's a reminder that Gabe loves him, which is the same. It's something special.
"Yeah," he says, warmth blooming over his cheeks and the back of his neck. "Yeah, I'd love to."
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It's clear how affected Johnny is by the offer to keep it, and Gabriel is charmed by the blush creeping up over his cheeks and the nervous acceptance of the offer. He smiles fondly up at him as Johnny dips to pick up the feather. "You gonna make the world's biggest quill pen? You could start a roadside attraction."
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The offer to keep the feather is somehow apart from all that, a proverbial spanner in the works of his carefully cultivated avoidance. His life was forfeit and now he's here, caring for and being cared for by an actual hand of god. Gabriel's wings have always been a bit of a wake-up call for him, he can never look at them as casually as he looks at the rest of his life, and now, being able to keep a piece of that with him always - it's too much.
He doesn't want to let go of it, but he forces himself to set the feather down gently, resting it on the couch with a pointed glance at Scout that implies his old dedication, this is not for you. More affectionate now than it ever was.
He turns back and steps over to Gabe, leaning down to kiss him, hands cupped warmly around his cheek and the back of his neck. The kiss lingers, and he corrects his position accordingly, settling instead onto Gabe's lap, curling around him. He filled his corners of the book with lurid descriptions of his trysts, all those women dispassionately, anonymously fucking him, women he didn't know how to talk to, how to treat, who were never going to fill the hole in his miserable life, and if someone had ever accused him of a future where he would give his heart to a celestial being wearing the body of a charmingly ordinary man he'd have punched them.
But this is it, all of it, right in front of him. He breaks the kiss and wraps his arms around the archangel, resting his chin on Gabe's shoulder.
"Thank you," he whispers.
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When Johnny wraps his arms around him, Gabriel rests his head against his temple and just enjoys Johnny being close for a moment. He sighs out a breath and the hand that was in Johnny's hair drifts down across his back. This reaction from Johnny could be all about the feather, but he doubts it. It seems like Johnny's thank you's always have an undercurrent that's less about any one particular thing and more about a broader gratitude. He doesn't completely understand it, but he assumes that it has a lot to do with how little Johnny thinks of himself.
"I wanted you to have one." He smiles softly. "I had something smaller in mind, but that'll do." He chuckles a little, envisioning Johnny standing with the feather tucked into his belt and hanging down like a scabbard. "You can have a smaller one too, if you want. That'll be more useful. You can keep in in your pocket like a lucky charm."
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"Sorry," he murmurs. "I guess I, uh, needed a break." He glances at the wings without moving his head from Gabe's shoulder. "You want me to make the ceiling taller?"
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