Brunch Gone Wild(e) [closed]

[eliotwaugh]

Well, his magic is still a little iffy sometimes, and he still doesn't know how/if he'll get home, and he really only has two friends so far, but god damn it, his apartment is an overdone neo-victorian salon set up, and he can have a fucking party again. This is so important.

Eliot's on his second Bellini when Sunshine arrives, early as agreed, with muffins as promised. He gives her a kiss on each cheek with a flamboyance usually reserved for Janet (Sunshine is sort of his replacement Janet, he guesses, and so far she doesn't want to sleep with him, which is kind of a step up), takes the bag and trades her a cocktail. She has catching up to do.

Sunshine is great in the kitchen, no surprises there, and she gets tipsy really quick, and she is adorable tipsy. This is gonna be great. Eliot feels good. For the first time in... kind of a while.

He's just checking the time on his phone when the buzzer goes, so he gives Sunshine reign of the omelettes for a moment while he goes to buzz Johnny in, then waits at the door, feeling maybe a little nervous. But only a little.

Comments

[johnny_truant]

[rae_of_sun]

Sunshine gapes at Eliot. Oh, gods, this is taking a turn. Ye olde Englande and ponytails are hilarious, but shrines and freaking sex robots? Nooo, thank you. She fires off an increasingly frustrated series of texts, then gives Eliot her undivided attention for a moment.

"Are you shitting me?" she asks, eyebrows raised. "He seriously built a shrine and fucked a carthaginian robot?" Her horror sits for a moment, like a boulder on the edge of a cliff… then, with inexorable grace, it topples over said metaphorical cliff and slides down into the--the pond (or whatever) of drunken hilarity. "Are you shitting me?!" she asks again, cackling. Then her phone buzzes. She squints at it, then holds it aloft as if it's an announcement that she's won the frigging nobel prize. "He wants to come over!"

[eliotwaugh]

"YES," says Eliot, almost before Sunshine's finished talking, because this is amazing and robot fucking aside there is no way this day could have gotten any better. "Oh my god this is a train wreck, I want to meet him in person, please tell him to come over, we've got booze and muffins!" For a minute the possibility of seeing real live Spike in his own home is too much for Eliot, and he turns away, gasping helpless giggles into Johnny's shoulder.

A sudden thought occurs to him and he snorts, and tries to sit up. "Oh fuck I just remembered," he begins, one hand over his stomach, wow he's getting an ab workout today, who would have thought? "There was, there was this one episode, and everyone lost their memories and he thought his name was Randy!"

[rae_of_sun]

Sunshine texts Spike the address, and this point she's giggling with about as much regularity as she's breathing. Hopefully he gets here quick, because if he's here, she'll be able to tell from his shadows if any of this nonsense is true or not. Also, he'll be here! That's exciting. All this talking about him has made her miss his face.

"I told him we have booze," she says, because that's the only part of the booze-and-muffins duo that she expects him to be all that interested in. She cackles appreciatively at 'Randy' - better text him about that, too - then leans her head back against the couch. Wow. Wow.

This has been a hell of a brunch.

Her phone buzzes again, and she tips her head back up to read it. "Awww, look, he called me 'pet.' Isn't he cute? I mean, sexbots and clothing theft aside." She snorts out another laugh, then asks, "Wait, why'd he think his name was Randy?"

Eliot's grasp on tv trivia grows shaky and starts slurring its speech

[eliotwaugh]

Eliot puts a hand over his face and just keeps it there for a while. "Oh my god I don't even know, I think it was, he wound up with somebody else's coat, it was Giles! Man, Giles was great. And he had his initials in it and like, memory loss, and I guess they decided he looked like a Randy?"

He has to admit that Sunshine is taking this news remarkably well, though who's to say how she'll feel once she's not heinously intoxicated and giggling.

"I might need some water," Eliot admits shamefully, "if I'm gonna be able to appreciate whatever happens when he gets here." He looks back and forth at his guests, and gives Johnny a smooch on the cheek since he looks so lost and bewildered by all of this. "Anyone else want water? You good?"

[johnny_truant]

Johnny perks up a little at the sweet but slightly sloppy kiss. This has been a wild and crazy adventure and he's enjoyed it at a safe distance, but it is nice to be acknowledged again. "Uh, yeah, water sounds good," he says, and reaches out to set his emptied glass on the table, slowly, like it's a stick of dynamite.

"So, uh," he says, but there's really nothing he can contribute at this point. He ends up just letting out a puff of air and throwing up his hands, flopping over onto the arm of the sofa, sprawling out. "Yeah I got nothing. This is some fuckin'... Twilight Zone shit."

[rae_of_sun]

"Nooooo shit," Sunshine agrees. "And… yeah, I should have water, too." But booze! But this means there will be some left for Spike, and he's probably going to need it a hell of a lot more than the rest of them.

Eliot spends the next twenty minutes or so regaling them both with half-remembered and dubiously-reconstructed plotlines from these two frigging shows ('Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and 'Angel,' respectively). It's a good thing Sunshine doesn't generally bother with makeup, because she ends up weeping with laughter at some of them. Gods and frigging angels. This is ten different kinds of high-caliber crazy.

When the door buzzes, Sunshine let's out a squawk of excitement. "He's here!"

[eliotwaugh]

Eliot chokes on a mouthful of water in his glee when the buzzer goes, and hastily tries to cover it with a cough. "Oh man this is gonna be so great," he announces, before hurrying over to the wall and buzzing him in.

And then he opens the door and waits, not unlike a wide-eyed babe staying up on Christmas Eve to try and catch a glimpse of Santa. This is actually happening.

[erratic_hematic]

Spike has spent the ride over (via what felt like a ridiculously long bus ride and then a changeover to the subway) in a state of aggrieved distress and mild panic. Whoever this Eliot is, it seems that what he's saying is true. Or at least it might as well be true, which means he knows way too much about Spike's life. And who knows all that he's managed to drunkenly tell Sunshine in the time that it's taken him to get here. So far it doesn't seem to have made too much of an impact on her, but when she's sober will his past catch up to them both and fuck him over via some bloody alternate-reality television program?

He smiles down at the newest ridiculous text after he buzzes in, then tucks it away in his pocket.

It all sounds completely implausible, but that doesn't change how nervous he feels as he finds his way to the correct door. When he gets there, disappointingly, it's not Sunshine that's waiting for him. He glares. "You must be Eliot."

[eliotwaugh]

Oh no.

He's really real, and he's really here, and he looks so angry and it's perfect. Any remaining ability Eliot had to keep his shit together flies right out the window.

He bursts into a manic, hysterical grin. "Randy Giles!" he exclaims, arms thrown wide. "You old so and so!"

[erratic_hematic]

At this point in time, Spike might just go ahead and punch Eliot in the face for being a complete arsehole. Unfortunately, he hasn't been invited in, so that's not a possibility. Yet. Instead, he makes a show of ignoring Eliot's embarrassing welcome and peeks past him into the apartment, where he can see Sunshine waving drunkenly at him from the sofa.

"Sunshine, don't you want me to come in?"

[rae_of_sun]

Sunshine narrows her eyes a little at what seems like a pretty leading question (it would take a hell of a lot more than four bellinis to make her forget Vampires 101, or to do something as phenomenally rude as inviting any vampire into someone else's home), and her wave inelegantly morphs into an unsteady point in Spike's general direction. "Are you going to be nice? Because you are on some thin ice right now, buster." No, he's not, but he'll probably be a lot more civil if he thinks he is.

Still, the impact of her threat is somewhat spoiled by the way she keels over onto the arm of the couch, whines, "I missed yoooou," and throws him a sideways pout.

[johnny_truant]

Johnny, who has defaulted to minding his own business and sipping water slowly, snorts softly and lifts his glass to Spike, or the bit of him he can see peering in through the doorway.

"Hey again," he says. "Sorry about last time. And the, uh, the existential crisis."

Why isn't he coming in? Whatever. Johnny is seriously just here for the show at this point.

[erratic_hematic]

Spike can't help but smile at Sunshine flopping over onto the arm of the sofa. Fucking adorable, that is. Even if he will be on thin ice later, he very obviously isn't now.

The other voice makes him zero in on...that guy he punched in the dream. That must be rabbit man. "I've had weirder." He takes a deep breath and lets it out, running his hand over his face for good measure. "If I promise to not punch anyone in the face, will someone invite me in?"

[eliotwaugh]

It takes Eliot a minute to parse the whole vampire-needing-invitation thing from Spike and Sunshine's (totally adorable) exchange, and when he gets it, he snorts with laughter.

"Oh wow I forgot! How could I forget?" He turns back to Sunshine, leaning on the wall for support. "Hey is he gonna be trouble?"

Eliot then attempts to address Spike as well, and ends up twisting himself around and looking an absolute fool. "Are you gonna be trouble? Because I know I can be mean and loud but I don't wanna get punched in the face. Or. Or anywhere else, actually."

[johnny_truant]

"Yeah, no punching my boyfriend," says Johnny. Oh. Oh, he definitely just said that. WHOOPS.

"Let's just say no punching anyone's boyfriend," he says, burying himself in another cocktail. Water's nice but it isn't going to help with THAT.

[rae_of_sun]

"He is gonna be on his best behavior," Sunshine says with narrow-eyed vehemence from her lopsided position (which she has not bothered to correct, because it's comfortable okay), "because it would upset me if he hurt my friends, and he already has a lot of explaining to do."

Johnny's outburst gets ignored. Well, he showed up in a frigging collar; the idea that they're boyfriends isn't all that outlandish.

[erratic_hematic]

God, he's entirely too sober to be having this conversation. He doesn't even care about the 'boyfriends' revelation. It's brunch in the East Village - he'd be surprised if nobody was gay...though that does make Johnny hitting on Sunshine earlier a little confusing.

He sets those thoughts aside for the moment to raise his eyebrows at Sunshine, who is still adorable, but it seems like it might be a difficult sell to get her so invite him into someone else's flat. "I'm not going to hurt your friends." Then, he tips his head back to look at Eliot. He voice goes flat, impatient. "I'm not going to hurt her friends. That's you."

[eliotwaugh]

Eliot's mouth hangs open as he gives Johnny a hell of a side-eye in disbelief. Boyfriend? Is that a thing that just happened or is this whole thing, vampire celebrity and all, just some bizarre fever dream? Did he drink wood alcohol again?

He shakes his head, he's got other matters to attend to. Like how Spike is saying more things and it's all well and good and Eliot does believe that his face is going to remain un-punched but he is also confused by something.

"You sound different," he says, peering at Spike as if a visual inspection will reveal the cause of the discrepancy between his memories and the actual person standing in front of him. "You sound like...like actually English? How is that a thing?" It does not make sense, and this conundrum could easily take up the rest of Eliot's day, but, other priorities.

"And come in and have a drink, for fuck's sake."

[johnny_truant]

Oh no. Oh noooo. Eliot did not like that. And he has a perfect right to not like that. They've had sex once, and had a couple weird tender dream moments, and let's not forget that Johnny just opened up about his archangel boyfriend (though if Johnny's being perfectly honest with himself 'boyfriend' is not the term for what Gabe is, he's not even sure that term exists). All that does not make him anything more than a complicated fuckbuddy. Johnny shrinks down further, sipping his cocktail slowly, hoping all the focus in the room can just stay on the vampire.

[rae_of_sun]

Well, all of Sunshine's focus is on the vampire, for whatever that's worth. She grins, still sideways, then gives the couch cushion beside her a haphazard swat. "Come sit by me! And you can," she pauses, heaving herself upright gracelessly, "finish my drink for me. Because I prooooooobably shouldn't." A considering pout. "Even though it's really good." She looks back up at Spike and points to the drink for emphasis. "This one. It's sweet! You'll like it!"

See, everything is wonderful again. Happy fun brunch is back on track!

[erratic_hematic]

"Maybe because I am English." He's spent a lot of time here in the states, and a lot of time elsewhere in the world, but English is still the general gist of his accent. He makes an unimpressed face at Eliot before he refocuses his attentions on Sunshine. She's who he's here for, anyway. He's hoping that he'll be able to get her out of here sooner rather than later.

He sits. He grabs the drink. He doubts that it will do anything for him, but he can hope.

[eliotwaugh]

Eliot trails after him, just staring in dumbfounded wonder. He's so grumpy! This is amazing.

"Yeah but," he begins to say, still too amazed at the reality of actual Spike in his actual apartment to be coherent. "But you sound like for real English, not like American actor doing an accent. How is that happening? How are you real?"

This is not the most polite question to ask somebody, but at this point Eliot is too far gone. Sexy TV vampire is sitting on his couch, the time for etiquette is over.

[johnny_truant]

Johnny shakes his head slowly. He thinks he's embarrassed for Eliot? Maybe? It seems like someone should be. Someone should probably put their paw hand over his hand and keep him from continuing. Unfortunately for everyone Johnny is not currently that person.

Instead he nods at Spike in a sort of show of completely unearned solidarity. "I'm just as lost as you are, buddy," he says.

[rae_of_sun]

Sunshine lists into Spike, propping her chin on his shoulder. This is a good place to be. She can make sure he's drinking her drink. His drink. It seems important that he do that; no Bellini should go to waste. "You're famous," she informs him in hushed tones, as if imparting a great and marvelous secret. Then she tucks her arm through his companionably and shifts to rest her head more comfortably on his shoulder. "Poor Spike. Don't be mad." Pat, pat.