so much more than time has been taken [closed]

[deadeyedchild]

[Immediately following this.]

Jay moves Tim's body to his bed. It's hard. He feels exhausted, like his body has been on ice the whole time he was 'dead', muscles needing to learn again how to work. Tim's heavy and Jay can't really lift him, can only sort of roll him awkwardly up onto the bed. It's absurd and undignified and he doesn't give a fuck.

In fact he feels incredibly numb. The initial shock and rage and sadness has fizzled down into nothing. He's running on autopilot, auxiliary power. He finds Tim's keys and takes the one for his apartment. He finds Tim's phone and calls in to his workplace. They actually remember him from that one time he called in for Tim before.

He tells them the truth this time: Tim is in a coma. He's being cared for at home.

They tell him they're going to have to let Tim go, but that, if things look up, he's welcome to re-apply. They seem like good people. Understanding enough.

Tim's phone ends up in his pocket. May as well.

He stands there staring at Tim for too long, until he realizes he feels like he's going to faint. He's hungry, thirsty, he feels sick. His body is both catching up to him and rejecting all of this. He doesn't want to leave Tim, not ever, but he has to. Just for a bit.

He stumbles out of the apartment, locks it behind him, sweaty and cold. He stares at his hands, which are visible and solid and pale and shuddering.

He staggers down a few flights and into the hallway, moving down it like he's in a trance, stopping finally outside Daine's door. He lifts a trembling hand and knocks.

Comments

[deadeyedchild]

Jay wilts immediately at the look from Daine, which he knows he deserves. She can't understand it, but there's just something viscerally wrong about Tim being called Alex. Why Tim would ever give that as a fake name he can't begin to guess.

Probably because it was the only one he could think of. Can't really blame him for that.

"Sorry," he mumbles. He backs up a bit to give the angel room to crouch by Tim's bedside, wanting too to avoid contact with his apparent illness. He's relieved Daine didn't go into detail on the situation but he knows too that details might be necessary. He chews his lip nervously, arms wrapped around himself.

Aziraphale rests a hand on Tim's forehead for a moment, then clicks his tongue. "It's very odd," he says. "He's alive, but he's not exactly sleeping. Certainly not dreaming, from what I can tell. I can-" He pauses to sneeze, managing not to do so on Tim, and resumes, sounding vaguely frustrated. "There is something there but it's like it's not complete. He can't wake up without the rest of it. What did the Rift do, exactly?" He looks up at Jay, who avoids his eyes.

"It..." He shifts his weight uncomfortably. "It took a part of him out. This... thing, this other person that kind of... shares space in his head. And then he collapsed and now he's like this."

Aziraphale seems to be considering this information for a moment before he looks back at Tim. "Well, whatever if it was, it seems like it was crucial," he says. "I'm afraid there's - not really anything I can do. I doubt we'd be able to find him in the dreaming, either. He's just... on ice, so to speak."

He straightens up, brushing himself off unnecessarily, before looking at Jay again. "I'm sorry."

Jay doesn't reply. He stares at the floor. Somehow more upsetting than all of it is the idea that Tim's masked counterpart is - crucial. A necessary part of the whole that is Tim. That's... that's awful.


Receiving no reply from the boy, Aziraphale looks to Daine. "His body will need care, I expect," he says. "Perhaps it would be best to send him to a hospital."

[wildmage_daine]

Daine's a bit less wary of Aziraphale's illness than Jay, but she's not about to crowd folk who are working. She hangs back as the angel examines Tim, and frowns at his explanation. The masked fellow had struck her as some sort of usurper, not a part of Tim from the beginning, and certainly not needful. Maybe it's like her magic, and they could put a wall around it to keep it in line... but it would have to be there before they could even think of doing that.

And until then, Tim's just... stuck.

Daine presses her lips together unhappily. If Aziraphale can't get him back, that's her best plan out the window. The only one remaining is to just wait for Tim to wake on his own (or at the Rift's pleasure, more like). He will, she thinks. The Rift might muck around with parting folk from their bodies, but if it really wanted to kill Tim, she thinks - or hopes - that it would just do it.

He'll wake. But Mithros knows which part of him will do the waking.

"A hospital might not be safest," she says. She glances at Jay, more in preemptive apology than to seek permission, before adding, "The part of Tim that's missing is dangerous. It's attacked folk. For all we know, it'll be holding the reins when he wakes." And if that happens, even if he doesn't manage to hurt anyone, it'll be that much harder to get him out of whatever hospital they put him in. Even the Rifty clinic probably isn't equipped to handle something like this.

Ma was a healer, and not with such a grand Gift that Daine didn't learn how to do things the hard way, first. Caring for the bedridden isn't new ground so much as very old ground she hasn't had to tread in a long time. "It shouldn't be that hard to keep him clean and comfortable," she says, "but I don't know how we'd keep him fed." If he's too far gone to wake or dream, he might be too far gone to swallow without choking.

[deadeyedchild]

Jay keeps his eyes on the floor for all of Daine's answer, cringing only slightly at the details she's sharing, even though he understands why she's sharing them. Privacy can't be the top priority now. And if Aziraphale really is an angel, well, he's got to be trustworthy, right?

"I'd offer to do it myself, but I don't know if that's wise," says Aziraphale, sounding reluctant. "It would be - very specific, constant care. I think a human doctor would be best."

"No hospitals." Jay's almost surprised to hear himself speak, and he shuts his mouth for a moment. The last thing Tim needs upon waking - and he will wake, goddammit - is to be in another hospital room. "I can do it. I can take care of him myself."

Can he, though?

This is probably a terrible idea.

"Oh," says Aziraphale brightly. "Well, all right then."

[wildmage_daine]

"Thank you for trying," Daine says quietly, patting Aziraphale's arm. He has his own illness to deal with not to mention running the apartment building; she can't really blame him for balking at the thought of tending Tim all the time, too.

To Jay, she adds, "I can help, if you like. The dogs need walking, anyway; I could pick some things up while I'm out." Food, she's thinking. She doesn't know how well Tim's cupboards are stocked, but Jay hasn't needed to eat in some time, so there probably isn't enough for two.

[deadeyedchild]

"Okay," he mumbles, a little surprised that it's all just resolved like that. What, do these people actually trust him to deal with this shit? He's always so torn between options. Get help, or shoulder the burden. Trust no one, or be vulnerable. Tim never had as much trouble making those choices.

"That'd be good," he says to Daine. "Uh, thanks." He glances up at Aziraphale. "You too."

The angel gives him a distracted nod and pats Daine limply on the back before disappearing again.

He accompanies Daine to the kitchen as she gets a list of things he might need, awkwardly offers her some money, which she accepts with a smile. And then she goes.

Leaving him, again, alone with Tim's body.

With Tim.

Try as he might, he can't avoid returning to the bedroom. Tim's in there like a splinter, a little pinprick of pain he can't stop worrying at. He gets the peanut butter and a glass of water and takes them in with him, eating occasional spoonfuls and taking slow sips until he starts feeling human again.

This will work out. It has to. It has to.

Everything will be fine.