bigapplesauce | Brunch Gone Wild(e) [closed]

Sunshine lifts her glass in acknowledgment of their respective compliments. Johnny's all right, she decides, watching him eat her food with an approving grin. To Eliot, she adds, "It was a good cookie," as if that is the most relevant detail - and as if Eliot hasn't had her cookies before.

And in deference to Johnny being in her good books, Sunshine waves him off in a gesture that comes perilously close to taking out her beverage. Yikes. Better make sure that doesn't happen. She gives her untoppled glass a reassuring little stroke with her fingertip, as if it's a tiny, spooked animal (poor glass, shhh, it's okay, mommy won't hurt you), then returns her attention to Johnny.

"It's fine," she says, magnanimous in the face of these unsolicited apologies. Spike could take some pointers. "I'm glad you're doing okay." Not that she's been losing sleep over it, but she had felt kind of bad that he'd just wandered off into the proverbial sunset with nothing more than a few reference numbers and no place to stay. "And that dream was weird. Everyone was acting off." Turning to Eliot, and with something very like triumph, she adds, "We set a jacket on fire!"

Edited 2014-10-15 00:31 (UTC)

"She gave me cookies too," Eliot adds, in between bites of muffin. He grins to himself. Heh, is Sunshine some sort of wandering cookie maven, distributing welcome goodies to new arrivals? Is that an actual job that people have? That would be awesome. Only Eliot would probably do it with wine but that is entirely beside the point.

He's a bit distracted from the conversation by the food, but he raises an eyebrow at the mention of Johnny hitting on her. That dream was a jumble, to be sure, and his memories of Johnny coming to his aid are all tangled up with disastrous magic hilarity.

"Ye gods that was a terrible jacket," Eliot agrees, raising his own glass to toast its demise. "It deserved what it got." he frown a little at Johnny, trying to put the pieces of the dream together. "Hey, did you get into a fight for me?"

"Ye-es," says Johnny, marginally embarrassed about it now. "I guess that would have happened... simultaneously? I dunno, dream shit is so weird. It wasn't on fire when I got to it."

He sips more of his drink and starts going after his omelet. "I, um, sorry about that," he says. "That's twice I've punched someone on a date with you. Not a habit. I promise." He laughs nervously. "Anyway, Peter, he's an asshole, he deserved it. And he punched me first. A while ago." Let's not go into that, shall we!! "Met him on my first day too, tried to be nice but he woudln't give me the time of day. Can't even be fucked to learn my name. He still calls me 'Rabbit Man'." He rolls his eyes. Ugh, Peter. Seriously.

Sunshine's first thought is something like: holy goddamn, Johnny is scrappy as hell. Does he just punch - or invite punches from - frigging everyone? WOW. It's always the little ones.

Her second thought is: good thing she refrained from calling him 'rabbit man' aloud. It's an understandable nickname - you don't meet many people just casually strolling around with an enormously fluffy rabbit tucked beneath their arm like an outlandish novelty clutch - but apparently Johnny is not a fan. Noted.

"That was the fluffiest rabbit," Sunshine reminisces before turning to Eliot in sudden excitement. "Oh, damn, you missed the rabbit thing, Eliot!" She ~~leans~~ slumps over and lays a hand on Eliot's arm, lest he fail to grasp the gravity of that long-past situation. "Carthagininan rabbits. Everywhere. And they were so fluffy." Like, you don't even know.

Good gravy, when you put it like that, Johnny sounds like some kind of scrappy little guard dog. Which, given the collar...

Eliot laughs to himself. He hopes it seems like he's laughing about the rabbit thing, because what the hell is that all about?

"Whhhhat's with the rabbits? Some sort of Rift thing?" he asks slowly, not quite understanding both the nickname and Sunshine's statement. "And how could you tell they were from...Carthage?" Does Carthage still exist in Sunshine's universe? Do they have rabbits in Africa? There are so many things for Eliot to be confused about right now, and the only solution is to stuff his face with omelette.

"Wait, what was up with the rabbit?" says Johnny, perking up slightly. "It just appeared and I didn't know what to do with it so I carried it around. And now I'm Rabbit Man. And then later it disappeared." Cool story, bro. He squints slightly at Eliot's follow-up question. "Were they Carthaginian? Is that... is that even a place anymore?" He doesn't know shit about that kind of thing.

"Rift thing," Sunshine confirms with a little nod. "It just made these floofy rabbits appear all over the place. I was bringing them to the base in a laundry basket. Then they all just poofed away," she says, make an illustrative gesture at 'poofed.'

Her brow furrows at the sudden weird geography bee that's happening, here, and she peers at first Eliot, then Johnny over the rim of her glass as she takes a fortifying sip of this delicious boozy concoction. "What?" she asks after swallowing. "How would I know where they were from?" She reclaims her fork and gives it a wave. "Probably some friggin… bunny universe. Or a rabbit farm. Planet of the rabbits."

"No, I mean like you said, you said..." Eliot trails off, trying to even imagine the type of Rift shenanigans Sunshine's describing, and getting thoroughly distracted. He certainly can't imagine Johnny going around with a bunny tucked under his arm, although that would be fucking adorable.

"...You said they were Carthaginian rabbits, and like how could you tell they were from Carthage?" He turns to Johnny, looking bewildered and feeling a little like he's not making any sense. "Right?"

Johnny snorts at 'Planet of the Rabbits.' This whole conversation is entertainingly bizarre, but Eliot is also looking at him for help, which he's obliged to give.

"No, yeah, I'm with you," says Johnny, gesturing vaguely at Eliot with his fork. "I don't get it either. These are really great, by the way. The eggs. And the muffins, and the cocktails. Good job everyone."

He has more cocktail now, then drops his chin onto his hand. "I have a new rabbit now," he adds. "Pet rabbit. He's the fucking cutest."

Oh. Ohhhhh. Sunshine shakes her head, then cracks up. Their confusion is adorable. "Nonono. No, no." She points at each of them in turn with her fork. "Noooo. Look, 'carthaginian' is just, just a word. Like 'goddamn' or 'frigging' or something. Not like," she huffs out another laugh, "not like, 'made in Carthage, microwave safe, tumble dry low.'" Shiva wept. And, okay, maybe she should be surprised this brand of confusion hasn't happened before, but no one else has had difficulty picking up on what Sunshine considers to be pretty obvious context clues.

Gosh, these two. They need to drink less. Or more. One of those options.

"Wait, you have a bunny for real?" she asks Johnny. This from the guy who doesn't like being called Rabbit Man. It also seems arguably irresponsible when the rift might relocate you at any given time, but she's gone and obtained a frigging boyfriend, so who is she to judge?

Eliot guzzles the rest of his cocktail to cover his internal embarrassment. Obviously Sunshine uses some slang terms he's not going to be familiar with, he should have picked up on that. Thankfully, this is a problem that alcohol is perfectly suited to solving. Also thankfully, Sunshine is hilarious.

Johnny is hilarious too, but he's not trying to be. Eliot can't even deal with him having an actual rabbit, following on the heels of that mental image.
"Wait, though," he says after getting the last drop of bubbly nectar goodness. "Do you still have that dog? How many pets do you have, anyway?"

"What?" Johnny blinks at him for a moment before realizing. "Oh, Scout. Uh, no. He's not mine, I was... I was taking care of him for a friend."

He feels a nervous twist in his gut at that. At one point should he tell Eliot about Gabriel? Before it hadn't really been relevant, it had been a one-night stand and Gabe had been gone, but now - with everything happening between him and Gabe, and his thing with Eliot developing fast and loose, it's suddenly potentially very fucking awkward.

He buries his nervousness in his food.

There's a dog, too? Sunshine shakes her head as she works on her omelet. "You are just a walking pet store, aren't you?" she muses before leaning over a little to peer at Johnny from around the centerpiece. "Do you have a salt lick in your pocket? Or a leash?" she asks, drawing out the 'l' playfully.

Yeah, she is not doing anything to dial down the awkward.

Eliot's starting to lose count of how many drinks he's had, but they're breakfast cocktails, they definitely don't count as like, full drinks. And anyway, this food is so rich that he needs more bubbly to go with it. So he gets up, swaying only a little, and refills his glass. He notices that Johnny is uncomfortable about something, probably something more than petsitting, but Eliot can't even begin to guess what.

Fortunately, Sunshine is here to lighten the mood, and Eliot grins at her joke. Unfortunately, he has a mouthful of bellini when she mentions a leash, and oh shit, he does an actual literal spit take.

"How-how horrendous of me," Eliot coughs, trying to dab at his shirtfront with a napkin and also not spill the rest of his drink at the same time. "But you," he says to Sunshine, "are a monster."

So all in all, this brunch is going swimmingly.

Johnny laughs off the salt lick comment, then goes abruptly still at leash, and looks up at Sunshine with an expression of incredulity that comes really close to just being abject horror.

Eliot's honest-to-god spit-take saves him from embarrassed stammering, and he allows himself to laugh at that too, putting his face briefly in his hands.

"Jesus Christ," he says, peeking between his fingers at Sunshine. "So just out of curiosity, how drunk do you have to get before you forget everything you've seen here?"

Shame. That's new. He hasn't felt that in years. Might be the liquor. He uncovers his face to have more of that.

Is there a greater compliment to a joke than an actual, literal spit-take? No, there is not, and Sunshine leans back in her chair with a triumphant cackle. This is the best brunch ever!

Johnny's question gives her pause. She has done her fair share of substance abuse - high school was a prime time for questionable-to-bad decision making - but it's been a long time since she got drunk to any shameful degree. Her job at the coffeehouse had straightened her out just out of necessity, because rolling out of bed at four in the morning is difficult enough without adding a skull-splitting hangover to the mix.

She has to roll out of bed at four tomorrow. But what time is it now? Ten-something? Plenty of time for her to recover from whatever she does to herself in the next hour or two. Right? Right.

She looks at Johnny over the rim of her glass. "I don't know," she says with sudden gravity, as if she's about to lead them all into battle. "Let's find out." Then she polishes off the last of her bellini, coughs once, and resumes giggling. "I am going to need another one of these," she announces, holding the empty glass aloft.

Edited 2014-10-29 13:54 (UTC)

"By all means," Eliot says, waving an arm towards the liquor setup. His throat still hurts a little but he's well prepared to move on. Especially for Johnny's sake, since the poor thing seems ready to sink into the couch and die.

"So!" he announces in a shameless change of subject, flopping gracefully back onto the couch and draping an arm around Johnny's shoulders, "how was everyone's week? And what the actual fuck was up with that text thing, did anyone else get that? Angels and Lucifer and wards?" Eliot sits up a bit to get Sunshine's attention, gesturing with his drink. "Sunshine, did you try the ward thing? I tried it and...like I think it worked, but wow I am dubious. I mean it seems legit but the text sounded so absurd, you know?"

Edited (there is definitely an 's' in 'gesturing') 2014-10-29 19:22 (UTC)

Johnny leans in against Eliot automatically, but freezes up almost immediately at the subject shift. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

"Um," he says inelegantly. "Yeah." He hadn't realized Gabe sent the ward out to everyone, though of course he did, why wouldn't he? What is he supposed to say to this? 'Oh yeah, I met Lucifer, he almost killed me, he's my angel boyfriend's brother.' Sure Johnny.

He settles for fiddling nervously with his glass and not saying anything.

Sunshine gets to her feet - woo, head rush - then heads over to the liquor to make herself another whatever-this-thing-is-called.

She makes a face at 'Lucifer,' then just lets the face stay there because it's appropriate for this entire topic of conversation. "Gabriel," she says in a tone of voice that implies: 'if that's even his real name.' "I mean, the wards seem good - nice work on the building, by the way," she adds, lifting her half-constructed bellini in Eliot's direction. "But the sender is a friggin…" she makes a slightly different but equally unpleasant face, then a few vague hand gestures for good measure. "All fuck-off kali face shadows and, and smuggery." That probably isn't a real word, but Sunshine says it with enough enthusiasm to lend it some legitimacy.

Drink refilled, she wanders back to the couch and flops down on Eliot's other side. "But the wards are sound. Which is good, because Lucifer's definitely a real problem." Ugh. She takes a pensive sip of her drink.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckshit.

Johnny is so tense now he knows Eliot is going to notice. That Sunshine knows - and doesn't like - Gabriel is so much worse. Who the fuck knows what 'fuck-off kali face shadows' is supposed to mean but it doesn't sound flattering. What's he supposed to say now?

He knocks back his whole cocktail and gets up abruptly just as Sunshine flops back down, following her example and making himself another drink.

"He can't be that bad if he showed you how to protect yourself," he mutters in a halting, instant-regret sort of way. Oh fucking fabulous. This is about to be so awkward. He keeps his back to them both, shoulders hunched as he stands over the little table.

Edited 2014-10-30 01:30 (UTC)

Eliot smirks at Sunshine's wobbling, and by how she clearly has a lot to say on the subject. And he's glad that the wards work, as foreign as they seem, since it's always a good idea to have extra safety measures. If nothing else they're a reminder that Eliot and his magical skills are still capable in this skewed Rift universe.

He can't help his expression souring, though, since she's talking like 'Lucifer' is an actual real entity and that whoever sent the text in the first place is who he says he is, which Eliot is unable to accept. Even after running into that guy...thing...at the library the other day, he can't just go around believing in angels, for fuck's sake.

Eliot's curious about these 'shadows' and their apparent abnormality, which are probably some quirk of Sunshine's world's magic and her aptitude with light; he's about to ask her for specifics but he's a little distracted by how thoroughly Johnny is Wigging. Out.

"Um, okay," Eliot begins, bewildered and a little on edge from Johnny's reaction. This took a turn that Eliot definitely wasn't expecting, and he's not sure what to make of it, other than Johnny has some baggage relevant to the conversation somehow. "Are you all right?" He gets up and goes over to Johnny but doesn't touch him. Eliot doesn't know how he might react; he leaves his hand hovering over Johnny's shoulder. "Anything you want to share with the class?" Eliot asks, his voice low and careful.

Sunshine's about to say something cutting about the dubious wisdom of introducing yourself as a carthaginian trickster god if you want to come across as helpful and trustworthy, but Eliot's behavior makes it clear that Johnny's having some kind of… what, crisis? They were all happy on the couch a few seconds ago, and now all of a sudden the boys are huddled by the liquor, expressions and posture suggesting that someone's died or something.

"… What?" she finally says, flat and bewildered.

Johnny turns a little too quickly at Sunshine's interjection, just barely avoiding splashing more bellini all over himself. He's a little unsteady, and he's making a scene. Who was just saying that? Oh right, the other night, in that fucking dream - definitely not a road he wants to go down, least of all drag these nice drunk people along with him. God damn. This is why no one brings Johnny Truant to parties.

"Nothing, it's - it's fine." Very convincing. He drinks most of his cocktail in one go, and then faces Sunshine with a vague, slack expression, like he hasn't figured out what emotion he's feeling right now. Which he hasn't. He's just gonna have to spill everything or this will be unsalvageable and it'll be his fault, so, here goes. More drink for strength. He can't look at Eliot.

"Gabe's - kind of my boyfriend?" he blurts. Oh that's. That's like the worst way to put it. "No, I mean, that's not - like, we live together. No. I live in his building. And sometimes we sleep together. He's the reason I'm not fucking homeless." And also the reason he's still alive. One of the reasons. There are a few reasons for that.

Out of champagne. He swivels back to make more cocktail. Oh man he's gonna have to slow down at some point. "Gabriel, like the archangel Gabriel, get it? And Lucifer like the Devil. You should see them together. Also Lucifer would have killed me if Gabe hadn't been there. So. There's that." He drinks more and turns back again, slower this time. "So, uh. I'm just saying, like... I know he seems like a dick, and... well, sometimes he is one, but he's also my friend and... he's saved my life a few times, and..." And I love him? Fuck offffff. He takes a long, slow gulp of fortifying liquor, and then says, "He's not what you think, basically. I know that sounds stupid but I'm really fucking drunk." He feels like apologizing for himself, but that's like the height of pathetic, so he just halfway turns to Eliot and says, weak as watered-down scotch, "It's an open relationship, and he knows about you, and it's all fine, and. That's all."

And if it's all right with everyone, he's just going to disappear into a hole now and never come out again.

Eliot doesn't want to have a blue screen of death moment twice in one morning, but Johnny's giving him a lot to deal with right now. And Eliot doesn't really do dealing with things. What he does do, though, is managing parties, and supporting his friends, which...are Johnny and Sunshine even his friends? He hasn't been here that long, he barely knows anyone and there's clearly a fuckton of things he doesn't know about these two and is he just trying to shoehorn them into his life to replace the social circle he had back home?

He doesn't want to think about that. He grimaces a little, trying to push these intrusive thoughts away to some little corner of his mind where he can safely ignore them for the foreseeable future. Gotta deal with the here and now. Gotta process this mess. And maybe also get that glass out of Johnny's hand. Eliot is normally the last person to say somebody should stop drinking, and people in glass houses et cetera but this meltdown has gone far enough and Eliot really doesn't want anyone to start crying at his first house party.

"Okay, so..." he says gently, trying to get a handle on everything Johnny babbled hysterically. "So the...~~not gonna say angel, angels aren't real~~ supernatural entity behind the text is your friend with benefits, and he's a nicer guy than we're giving him credit for, and...the actual devil is in town. Is that the gist of it?"

This sounds about equally ridiculous, Eliot thinks, but stating it himself helps him get a handle on it. Even though this whole thing is unreal, and Johnny maybe could have told him he was seeing someone else when they hooked up but Eliot guesses he can't blame him, really. But that's something for another conversation, maybe while Drunkshine isn't here as a live studio audience.

Oh, gods. Sunshine makes a sound at 'boyfriend' that might have been a laugh if there was any real breath support behind it, then carefully sets down her drink. It's not awkward enough that Johnny hit on her obnoxiously in a dream and then got subsequently punched out by her now-boyfriend for his efforts; now he's frigging dating the runner-up for Least Favorite Person Here. To whatever degree of 'person' Gabriel achieves.

"Yeah," she says dryly, "he is professionally not what people think he is. You know how he introduced himself when I first met him? As frigging Loki. So, fine, plus ten for style, but minus ten billion for trustworthiness." Ugh. She wants her drink back.

After retrieving it and taking a fortifying sip, she continues, "But yeah, Lucifer's real. And he put his entire fucking arm through my boyfriend's chest, so there's that." To Johnny, she adds, "I suppose you already know that he's your benefactor-with-extra-benefits's brother, right? What a family."

Edited 2014-10-30 20:34 (UTC)

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retconning them onto a couch because we said so that's why

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what happens at brunch stays at brunch

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