Brunch Gone Wild(e) [closed]

[eliotwaugh]

Well, his magic is still a little iffy sometimes, and he still doesn't know how/if he'll get home, and he really only has two friends so far, but god damn it, his apartment is an overdone neo-victorian salon set up, and he can have a fucking party again. This is so important.

Eliot's on his second Bellini when Sunshine arrives, early as agreed, with muffins as promised. He gives her a kiss on each cheek with a flamboyance usually reserved for Janet (Sunshine is sort of his replacement Janet, he guesses, and so far she doesn't want to sleep with him, which is kind of a step up), takes the bag and trades her a cocktail. She has catching up to do.

Sunshine is great in the kitchen, no surprises there, and she gets tipsy really quick, and she is adorable tipsy. This is gonna be great. Eliot feels good. For the first time in... kind of a while.

He's just checking the time on his phone when the buzzer goes, so he gives Sunshine reign of the omelettes for a moment while he goes to buzz Johnny in, then waits at the door, feeling maybe a little nervous. But only a little.

Comments

[eliotwaugh]

Laugh away, Sunshine, because if Eliot were not smack dab in the middle of the trainwreck he'd be doubled over and howling.

It is strange and refreshing, though, how her reaction is just...zero drama, and it helps Eliot to begin to act like a human being again. Which is not to say he's not going to drown his embarrassment in alcohol and fruit juice; old habits die hard.

He clears his throat with a cough. "Yes," Eliot says, maybe a little too loud, "drinking more! Johnny, you stole mine, let's get you set up with your own..." He aspires to calm host-zen as he leads Johnny over to the makeshift bar in the living room, which is set up with chilled peach nectar and orange juice and sparkling wine. "I didn't know if you're a bloody mary sort of guy but I figured it's brunch, it's housewarming, might as well be decadent, right?"

In a lower tone, he adds, "Because it's brunch, man, I admit the text was maybe not the most clear but how the hell do you get hookup from brunch?"

[johnny_truant]

Johnny is similarly relieved that Sunshine doesn't seem to care, or at least is too drunk to care, which, whatever, he'll take it. He trails after Eliot into the living room, distantly appreciating what seriously nice digs these are, damn. "Yeah, no, this is good," he says in regards to the cocktail, and then lowers his tone to match Eliot's.

"Because who the fuck gets brunch?!" he hisses. "I'm not a forty-five year old woman so I don't know, I thought it was a weird euphemism or something. I'm sorry, all right?"

It's not like he's annoyed, he's in no position to be annoyed, more in hysterics, feeding off of Eliot's equally hysterical energy. He draws a breath, accepts a second drink, and takes a fortifying sip. Shit, this really is good. And he didn't actually have breakfast. This is gonna start to heal him up soon. Thank fuck for that.

"I shouldn't have - I mean, I should have asked first anyway, I just... I thought maybe-" Now is not that moment, kiddo. He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "We'll talk about it later, yeah? I mean, I really, really want to talk about it. I'm sorry I made everything so fucking massively awkward." He can still hear Sunshine giggling to herself, god damn her, or maybe thank god she's so chill, he can't decide.

"So, yeah," he concludes, and gives Eliot a severe raised eyebrow. "Brunch, huh."

[rae_of_sun]

The various sounds of the kitchen - and her own quiet but incessant tittering - do a decent job of masking most of the conversation going on outside. But even without trying to eavesdrop, she catches some of it. Or enough to get that 'brunch' is apparently a novel concept to Johnny. How very frigging quaint, she thinks, not unkindly, but with the particular brand of world-weariness endemic to those in the restaurant business.

"Brunch," she echoes emphatically from her post. "And it's going to be goddamn delicious. I brought muffins!"

[eliotwaugh]

Eliot is flabbergasted at Johnny's ignorance, and more than a little affronted at the accusation that this is something that old people do. Truly Sunshine is a goddess, or at least a saint, to take over food prep while he educates this poor neglected creature.

"How have you not had brunch before!" Eliot demands in an hysterical whisper. "This is a thing people do, Johnny, it's brunch, it's an excuse to drink in the morning and eat decadent food, like, where have you been the past ten years?"

He has to take a deep cleansing breath. It's not Johnny's fault, really, and it's clear he feels bad enough about the misunderstanding already.

"Listen," he continues, changing tacks, "it's okay, you didn't ruin anything, and on the awkward scale this is like a drop in the bucket compared to some parties I've been at. she's totally chill," he nods his head in Sunshine's direction. "And muffins! Nothing can go wrong with muffins involved."

Eliot punctuates the reassurance with a brief kiss, reaching around to knead the back of Johnny's neck. "You're welcome to stay after, you know...if you wanted to talk."

[johnny_truant]

"Goddamn I miss one decade and fuckin brunch happens," says Johnny, lapsing back into his normal speaking volume as he eases up gradually. Sunshine's continued irreverence is actually really helpful. As is this liquor.

"I'm from LA in 1999," he says. "Nobody got brunch. At least nobody I hung out with." Which really was nobody, by the end of it.

The kiss is a surprise, but a pleasant one. He smiles into it and stands up on his toes to return it, chaste but warm. And just like that, everything is immediately better. Eliot must be magic.

"Deal," he murmurs.

[rae_of_sun]

Sunshine has moved onto tuneless humming - and if anyone was looking for a sure sign that she is heading past tipsy and into drunk, it is that - so it's just as well that the omelets are done. Food will help. Feeding people always helps.

She slides them onto a serving plate, only a little less dexterous than usual thanks to muscle memory, then wanders out of the kitchen to update the boys… and aww, look at these two adorable assholes. Sunshine grins and takes in the view for a second before announcing, "Omelets are up!" She hoists the plate for emphasis, then walks it over to the table and sets it down amongst the plates, cutlery, and prearranged plate of muffins.

[eliotwaugh]

Nothing like a ton of social lubricant, and a ton of breakfast food to go along with it to bolster their livers. Eliot would actually clap his hands in glee when Sunshine returns with food, only he's holding a glass, so.

He plops down at the table and waves Johnny over, looking back and forth between him and Sunshine.

"Okay so," he says, taking a sip of the bellini with a scrutinizing look at his partners in brunch. "How the hell do you two know each other, follow up question, is it a crazy story? Because I think we've got an 'awkward and hilarious' theme going here and let's keep the ball rolling. Also, oh my god, Sunshine, you are amazing, look at this shit, let's dig in."

And now Eliot's babbling exuberantly, so he's slipping into drunk territory as well.

[johnny_truant]

"Uh..." Johnny is sort of alarmed by this sudden moodswing, but it's a good kind of swing, so he figures he can just roll with it. And the food does look really good.

He reaches out and takes a muffin. "You made these?" he says to Sunshine. "Didn't you give me a cookie the first time we met? That was a good fuckin cookie." He takes a bite of the muffin and chews it appreciatively. "Good fuckin muffin."

To Eliot, he says, "She was the first person I met here, actually, but I had no fucking idea what was going on and I never called her. Sorry. About that." He looks back at Sunshine. "And, uh. Sorry that I... hit on you. The other night."

Because THAT happened.

[rae_of_sun]

Sunshine lifts her glass in acknowledgment of their respective compliments. Johnny's all right, she decides, watching him eat her food with an approving grin. To Eliot, she adds, "It was a good cookie," as if that is the most relevant detail - and as if Eliot hasn't had her cookies before.

And in deference to Johnny being in her good books, Sunshine waves him off in a gesture that comes perilously close to taking out her beverage. Yikes. Better make sure that doesn't happen. She gives her untoppled glass a reassuring little stroke with her fingertip, as if it's a tiny, spooked animal (poor glass, shhh, it's okay, mommy won't hurt you), then returns her attention to Johnny.

"It's fine," she says, magnanimous in the face of these unsolicited apologies. Spike could take some pointers. "I'm glad you're doing okay." Not that she's been losing sleep over it, but she had felt kind of bad that he'd just wandered off into the proverbial sunset with nothing more than a few reference numbers and no place to stay. "And that dream was weird. Everyone was acting off." Turning to Eliot, and with something very like triumph, she adds, "We set a jacket on fire!"

[eliotwaugh]

"She gave me cookies too," Eliot adds, in between bites of muffin. He grins to himself. Heh, is Sunshine some sort of wandering cookie maven, distributing welcome goodies to new arrivals? Is that an actual job that people have? That would be awesome. Only Eliot would probably do it with wine but that is entirely beside the point.

He's a bit distracted from the conversation by the food, but he raises an eyebrow at the mention of Johnny hitting on her. That dream was a jumble, to be sure, and his memories of Johnny coming to his aid are all tangled up with disastrous magic hilarity.

"Ye gods that was a terrible jacket," Eliot agrees, raising his own glass to toast its demise. "It deserved what it got." he frown a little at Johnny, trying to put the pieces of the dream together. "Hey, did you get into a fight for me?"

[johnny_truant]

"Ye-es," says Johnny, marginally embarrassed about it now. "I guess that would have happened... simultaneously? I dunno, dream shit is so weird. It wasn't on fire when I got to it."

He sips more of his drink and starts going after his omelet. "I, um, sorry about that," he says. "That's twice I've punched someone on a date with you. Not a habit. I promise." He laughs nervously. "Anyway, Peter, he's an asshole, he deserved it. And he punched me first. A while ago." Let's not go into that, shall we!! "Met him on my first day too, tried to be nice but he woudln't give me the time of day. Can't even be fucked to learn my name. He still calls me 'Rabbit Man'." He rolls his eyes. Ugh, Peter. Seriously.

[rae_of_sun]

Sunshine's first thought is something like: holy goddamn, Johnny is scrappy as hell. Does he just punch - or invite punches from - frigging everyone? WOW. It's always the little ones.

Her second thought is: good thing she refrained from calling him 'rabbit man' aloud. It's an understandable nickname - you don't meet many people just casually strolling around with an enormously fluffy rabbit tucked beneath their arm like an outlandish novelty clutch - but apparently Johnny is not a fan. Noted.

"That was the fluffiest rabbit," Sunshine reminisces before turning to Eliot in sudden excitement. "Oh, damn, you missed the rabbit thing, Eliot!" She leans slumps over and lays a hand on Eliot's arm, lest he fail to grasp the gravity of that long-past situation. "Carthagininan rabbits. Everywhere. And they were so fluffy." Like, you don't even know.

[eliotwaugh]

Good gravy, when you put it like that, Johnny sounds like some kind of scrappy little guard dog. Which, given the collar...

Eliot laughs to himself. He hopes it seems like he's laughing about the rabbit thing, because what the hell is that all about?

"Whhhhat's with the rabbits? Some sort of Rift thing?" he asks slowly, not quite understanding both the nickname and Sunshine's statement. "And how could you tell they were from...Carthage?" Does Carthage still exist in Sunshine's universe? Do they have rabbits in Africa? There are so many things for Eliot to be confused about right now, and the only solution is to stuff his face with omelette.

[johnny_truant]

"Wait, what was up with the rabbit?" says Johnny, perking up slightly. "It just appeared and I didn't know what to do with it so I carried it around. And now I'm Rabbit Man. And then later it disappeared." Cool story, bro. He squints slightly at Eliot's follow-up question. "Were they Carthaginian? Is that... is that even a place anymore?" He doesn't know shit about that kind of thing.

[rae_of_sun]

"Rift thing," Sunshine confirms with a little nod. "It just made these floofy rabbits appear all over the place. I was bringing them to the base in a laundry basket. Then they all just poofed away," she says, make an illustrative gesture at 'poofed.'

Her brow furrows at the sudden weird geography bee that's happening, here, and she peers at first Eliot, then Johnny over the rim of her glass as she takes a fortifying sip of this delicious boozy concoction. "What?" she asks after swallowing. "How would I know where they were from?" She reclaims her fork and gives it a wave. "Probably some friggin… bunny universe. Or a rabbit farm. Planet of the rabbits."

[eliotwaugh]

"No, I mean like you said, you said..." Eliot trails off, trying to even imagine the type of Rift shenanigans Sunshine's describing, and getting thoroughly distracted. He certainly can't imagine Johnny going around with a bunny tucked under his arm, although that would be fucking adorable.

"...You said they were Carthaginian rabbits, and like how could you tell they were from Carthage?" He turns to Johnny, looking bewildered and feeling a little like he's not making any sense. "Right?"

[johnny_truant]

Johnny snorts at 'Planet of the Rabbits.' This whole conversation is entertainingly bizarre, but Eliot is also looking at him for help, which he's obliged to give.

"No, yeah, I'm with you," says Johnny, gesturing vaguely at Eliot with his fork. "I don't get it either. These are really great, by the way. The eggs. And the muffins, and the cocktails. Good job everyone."

He has more cocktail now, then drops his chin onto his hand. "I have a new rabbit now," he adds. "Pet rabbit. He's the fucking cutest."

[rae_of_sun]

Oh. Ohhhhh. Sunshine shakes her head, then cracks up. Their confusion is adorable. "Nonono. No, no." She points at each of them in turn with her fork. "Noooo. Look, 'carthaginian' is just, just a word. Like 'goddamn' or 'frigging' or something. Not like," she huffs out another laugh, "not like, 'made in Carthage, microwave safe, tumble dry low.'" Shiva wept. And, okay, maybe she should be surprised this brand of confusion hasn't happened before, but no one else has had difficulty picking up on what Sunshine considers to be pretty obvious context clues.

Gosh, these two. They need to drink less. Or more. One of those options.

"Wait, you have a bunny for real?" she asks Johnny. This from the guy who doesn't like being called Rabbit Man. It also seems arguably irresponsible when the rift might relocate you at any given time, but she's gone and obtained a frigging boyfriend, so who is she to judge?

[eliotwaugh]

Eliot guzzles the rest of his cocktail to cover his internal embarrassment. Obviously Sunshine uses some slang terms he's not going to be familiar with, he should have picked up on that. Thankfully, this is a problem that alcohol is perfectly suited to solving. Also thankfully, Sunshine is hilarious.

Johnny is hilarious too, but he's not trying to be. Eliot can't even deal with him having an actual rabbit, following on the heels of that mental image.
"Wait, though," he says after getting the last drop of bubbly nectar goodness. "Do you still have that dog? How many pets do you have, anyway?"

[johnny_truant]

"What?" Johnny blinks at him for a moment before realizing. "Oh, Scout. Uh, no. He's not mine, I was... I was taking care of him for a friend."

He feels a nervous twist in his gut at that. At one point should he tell Eliot about Gabriel? Before it hadn't really been relevant, it had been a one-night stand and Gabe had been gone, but now - with everything happening between him and Gabe, and his thing with Eliot developing fast and loose, it's suddenly potentially very fucking awkward.

He buries his nervousness in his food.

[rae_of_sun]

There's a dog, too? Sunshine shakes her head as she works on her omelet. "You are just a walking pet store, aren't you?" she muses before leaning over a little to peer at Johnny from around the centerpiece. "Do you have a salt lick in your pocket? Or a leash?" she asks, drawing out the 'l' playfully.

Yeah, she is not doing anything to dial down the awkward.

[eliotwaugh]

Eliot's starting to lose count of how many drinks he's had, but they're breakfast cocktails, they definitely don't count as like, full drinks. And anyway, this food is so rich that he needs more bubbly to go with it. So he gets up, swaying only a little, and refills his glass. He notices that Johnny is uncomfortable about something, probably something more than petsitting, but Eliot can't even begin to guess what.

Fortunately, Sunshine is here to lighten the mood, and Eliot grins at her joke. Unfortunately, he has a mouthful of bellini when she mentions a leash, and oh shit, he does an actual literal spit take.

"How-how horrendous of me," Eliot coughs, trying to dab at his shirtfront with a napkin and also not spill the rest of his drink at the same time. "But you," he says to Sunshine, "are a monster."

So all in all, this brunch is going swimmingly.

[johnny_truant]

Johnny laughs off the salt lick comment, then goes abruptly still at leash, and looks up at Sunshine with an expression of incredulity that comes really close to just being abject horror.

Eliot's honest-to-god spit-take saves him from embarrassed stammering, and he allows himself to laugh at that too, putting his face briefly in his hands.

"Jesus Christ," he says, peeking between his fingers at Sunshine. "So just out of curiosity, how drunk do you have to get before you forget everything you've seen here?"

Shame. That's new. He hasn't felt that in years. Might be the liquor. He uncovers his face to have more of that.

[rae_of_sun]

Is there a greater compliment to a joke than an actual, literal spit-take? No, there is not, and Sunshine leans back in her chair with a triumphant cackle. This is the best brunch ever!

Johnny's question gives her pause. She has done her fair share of substance abuse - high school was a prime time for questionable-to-bad decision making - but it's been a long time since she got drunk to any shameful degree. Her job at the coffeehouse had straightened her out just out of necessity, because rolling out of bed at four in the morning is difficult enough without adding a skull-splitting hangover to the mix.

She has to roll out of bed at four tomorrow. But what time is it now? Ten-something? Plenty of time for her to recover from whatever she does to herself in the next hour or two. Right? Right.

She looks at Johnny over the rim of her glass. "I don't know," she says with sudden gravity, as if she's about to lead them all into battle. "Let's find out." Then she polishes off the last of her bellini, coughs once, and resumes giggling. "I am going to need another one of these," she announces, holding the empty glass aloft.

[eliotwaugh]

"By all means," Eliot says, waving an arm towards the liquor setup. His throat still hurts a little but he's well prepared to move on. Especially for Johnny's sake, since the poor thing seems ready to sink into the couch and die.

"So!" he announces in a shameless change of subject, flopping gracefully back onto the couch and draping an arm around Johnny's shoulders, "how was everyone's week? And what the actual fuck was up with that text thing, did anyone else get that? Angels and Lucifer and wards?" Eliot sits up a bit to get Sunshine's attention, gesturing with his drink. "Sunshine, did you try the ward thing? I tried it and...like I think it worked, but wow I am dubious. I mean it seems legit but the text sounded so absurd, you know?"